An Argument FOR Unschooling

I get the impression that many people see Unschooling as just letting your kids do whatever they want all day. I understand where this impression comes from because there are definitely people who do that. The actuality of Unschooling is that children learn through their natural lives and life experiences. Now to me this means, as adults we are the facilitators of their life experiences and we are responsible for offering our children as many rich experiences as we can give them.

Unschooling also promotes that kids are natural born learners, curious beings, who will seek out learning in their interest areas. I can tell you from personal experience with my own children that this is true. Left to their own accord, children WILL seek out information and learning experiences. Now does that mean they are going to learn about a tadpole growing into a frog at the same time as all other second graders? Probably not. Will they learn about the American revolution at the same time as all other Fourth graders? Doubt it. BUT when they seek it out themselves, the learning is so much more meaningful than being forced to memorize facts from a book.

In order to Unschool, you first have to Deschool - not just your children but yourself. We are programmed to believe that the schools' timelines for learning are the ones we have to follow. The beauty of Unschooling is that there is no schedule. This will include A LOT of downtime at first, screen time and doing very little traditional school work. This does not mean learning is not occurring though. In time, kids burn out on doing nothing, poke their heads out of the sand and say 'Hey that looks cool!' If you try to force it, you will end up engaging in a battle similar to homework battles that parents of school kids have. The idea is to entice them into it.

Recently my oldest daughter was 'stuck' reading books way below her ability. She is at the age that if I recommend something, it automatically gets a big, fat NO! (and an eye roll, and a huff....) So I decided to start a book club with some of her friends. Instead of the traditional book club, where everyone reads the same book, in our book club everyone reads what they want and discusses it. I knew that if some of her friends talked about a book, she would be interested in it. And guess what?! YUP it worked! She started picking up books that I wanted her to read 6 months ago, all because her friends liked it. This is just one example of how to facilitate child-led learning.

As facilitators, we are responsible for offering a wide variety of experiences to our children. Without these experiences, how will they become exposed to all of the wonderful things in the world? Want your children to learn about the American Revolution? Go to Boston on a trip. Want your children to learn about the life cycle of a butterfly? Go to a Butterfly house at a local zoo. Want your children to learn about the solar system? Check out books from the library and leave them laying around your house. Go to local library programs, local park programs, local historical sites. Watch movies on topics of interest, find interactive websites, let your children buy something and figure out what the change should be. Let your children cook dinner, talk to a relative or friend that immigrated to this country, let them help you with a project around the house.

THINK about all of the language, math, science, history, geography, reading, writing, measuring, and LEARNING that is going on with ALL of these activities. Realize how much more meaningful and memorable this type of learning is. Do YOU remember all of what you learned in school? Probably not much. Do you remember any of these types of experiences you had as a child? I'm positive that you do. Now understand THAT is Learning!

Curriculums for 2, 3 & 4 Year Olds

As the start of the homeschool (and school) year approaches, I see lots of people asking 'What curriculums should I buy?" This is pretty normal but what I am surprised to see are LOTS of people asking what curriculums they should buy for their 2, 3, and 4 year olds!

I understand the excitement and the eagerness to get your very curious and smart toddler/preschooler started on the learning journey, but please WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The beauty of the toddler and preschool years is that it should all be about discovery. It should all be hands-on, experiential learning. They should NOT be sitting at a table. Young children learn best through their senses with the people they are most attached to. They do not learn through computer games, flashcards, apps on the iPad, educational videos, or worksheets.

Take them to a farm. Pet a cow. Go apple picking. Go to the grocery store. Let them touch things, see things, taste things. Go to the zoo or the aquarium. Go to the park or on a hike. Go to a lake, river or ocean. Walk through a city. Take a subway ride. Explore your backyard. Learning things through natural exploration and by seeing, hearing, smelling, touching and tasting them first hand is so much more meaningful than any book, app or flashcard you could purchase.

I know how tempting it is, believe me I've been there. That competitive parenting thing is ridiculous. Ignore it. A 2 year old that knows their alphabet is as meaningful as knowing the Itsy Bitsy Spider song. It's cute, sure, but it doesn't mean they'll be early readers. Sorry, but it's the truth.  What is meaningful is knowing what a cow is, where it lives, what it feels and smells like, what it sounds like. Knowing how to care for a pet or grow a plant is much more meaningful and enriched than knowing your numbers at 3. Helping to cook or bake something with a loved one has so much more value than knowing colors and shapes. And I know how scary it is to just let go and trust that they are learning. But after 17 years as an early childhood teacher and as a homeschool mom of 2, I can tell you that THEY ARE LEARNING! And they are learning in the best, most meaningful way possible. When they learn in this way, it has depth, it is multi-dimensional, it has true meaning to the child. They can build upon these experiences with future knowledge. Learning from a flashcard or app is just rote memorization.

So as hard as it is, forget the curriculum. Go out into the world with your child. Show them everything there is out there. Let them experience it first hand. Let them play. But if you must teach them colors, shapes, numbers and letters, PLEASE do so through play and in their natural environment and on their terms. If they show an interest, continue the conversation. Count cars, match colored blocks, talk about the letters on road signs or buildings....but please, PUT DOWN THE FLASHCARDS AND WALK AWAY!

Being Flexible

So one of the joys of homeschooling is the flexibility it allows for. If something is not working for you or your child, it can be changed quite easily. Swap out for another curriculum, try a different teaching style, abandon it and return to it another time. But one of the great frustrations of homeschooling is the flexibility. So many choices of curriculum, so many theories on how to do it, confusion on what would be best for your child.....

We are coming to the end of our second year of homeschooling and all in all it has been a success. My kids are happy, thriving and learning. They enjoy learning again and are excited by it. It's not all bells and whistles though. We have our meltdowns, our stubborn refusals, and I am not always the greatest at staying consistent with things. But through it all, we seem to have found our way in the homeschooling realm.

 I think it all comes down to being flexible. We as humans, like our routines. Change is typically difficult for folks. We would rather push through a difficult patch and persevere instead of looking at it a different way and re-vamping our approach. Seems silly when you say it that way but it's true. I have found myself doing that several times on this journey. However every time I try to forcefully push ahead, it just causes frustration and sadness. It's not until I step back, possibly reach out to others for their perspectives, and think outside the box that things get better. Learning to be flexible with your homeschool routine is essential.



I think a lot of us start out setting up our homes like a school because it's what we know. We sit down everyday and do Language arts, Math, Science......and that works for some people so that is great. But for many others (like us) this approach does not work. What do you do when that happens? Fight through it until it works? Or take a step back, re-examine WHY you homeschool, WHAT your child's best learning style is, and incorporate that into a new approach. It seems like a lot of hard work to re-create your homeschool experience, but if what you are doing now isn't working, it might be time to.

As with anything, taking the first step is the hardest. Once you take the leap, the rest will fall into place. Ask others what they do, read blogs, check out PINTEREST (I'm obsessed). You do not need to re-invent the wheel. There are so many creative people out there doing and posting about these things. Take a little from here and a little from there and see where it leads you.

Isn't that why we homeschool? For the flexibility it allows and schools don't? So as this year winds down to a close and we look forward to summer; I invite you to reflect on your year. Be honest about what works and what doesn't. And as you start to think about next year, be brave enough to take that step into something new. I promise you it will open up a whole new world of learning!



**I want to thank all of my readers for all of your support. I will be taking a hiatus for the summer. I need to replenish, relax and rejuvenate. I hope you all have a seamless end to your year and a wonderful summer. See you in the fall!

Finding Kindred Spirits

I cannot tell you how thankful I am for my homeschooling friends. When I was contemplating starting this journey, I was so afraid of being isolated, alone and not having anyone to relate to. BOY was I wrong!!!!!

For anyone who knows me, you know how social I am. I am the definition of an extrovert. It's ridiculous really. I remember a conversation with my husband back in the day.....he asked me what my hobbies were......I thought about it & replied "Hanging out with friends, meeting new people, going new places!"  So the thought of homeschooling scared the crap out of me.

As you have probably read before, I fully researched groups ad opportunities in the area before diving into this. I am not one to stay home with my kids. I think J was 2 weeks old before I had cabin fever & we were out & about! Well, needless to say, the Hudson Valley is FULL of amazing, creative, fun and active homeschoolers! I count myself so lucky to have found them and consider many of them my friends!

In today's world of the Internet and Social Media, it makes it quite easy to link up with like minded people. So jump on and use it to your full advantage.

TWO WORDS: Google Groups! For those of you already homeschooling or thinking about it, check out your local Google Groups. This is where I found so many like minded individuals! Facebook is also a great resource! I'm a technology klutz, but social media has helped me to connect to so many homeschool groups in the area. I suggest you do the same! Go to your local library. Many homeschoolers have groups that meet at the library. Check out homeschool programs at places like aquariums, zoos and parks.

Just like when you are a new mom (or Dad) and are feeling isolated and alone, finding other parents doing the same things you are, helps keep you sane! Talking to veteran homeschoolers helps you learn the ins and outs of dealing with your state laws, school district requirements, testing, etc. And just having comrades to do the simple things with - like going to the park - really helps you along the way.

If you don't have people locally, use social media to connect with others. Chatting online, reading homeschool blogs, hearing others' perspectives, struggles and successes is such a help.

The moral of the story is DO NOT LET YOURSELF BE ISOLATED. There are many ways to connect with other like minded individuals. It may seem scary or daunting at first, but once you do it, you'll be so glad you did!

The American Revolution - Unschool style

We had a trip to Boston planned, so I thought 'What a great way to introduce the American Revolution!" My kids have heard about The Boston Tea Party, Paul Revere, and Ben Franklin but they didn't know much more than being familiar with those phrases. They did go to a program called 'Colonial Kids' at our local library so they had a small frame of reference. I told them about the trip and a little about what was in Boston and off to the library we went!

My children were eager to find books about The Boston Tea Party, Paul Revere, The Revolutionary War, and Benjamin Franklin. We came home with a TON of books. Then we accessed Brain Pop. If you do not know about this website, get familiar. We watched 2 videos on the subject and my children were chomping at the bit to learn more!

We read one of our books about The Boston Tea Party and then I showed them on a map where the Old South Meeting House, The Old North Church, Paul Revere's House and The Old State House are. I told them we would be going to these places and seeing them. I gave them a little background information on why they were important. They couldn't get enough.

We spent 2 weeks reading books, accessing websites, planning our trip and watching Liberty's Kids - a PBS series now on YouTube. They came up with the places on the Freedom Trail that they wanted to visit. We printed maps of the 13 colonies, discussed what it was like to live in colonial times and did projects like - make your own butter and quill pens. Then we went to Boston! My children are still young and it was cold so we only did a part of the Freedom Trail (from the Old South Meeting House to Paul Revere's House) but it was enough.

When we came home, they wanted to know more. We live in the Hudson Valley in New York, so there are plenty of Revolutionary War sites to visit. We are close to West Point, Mt. Gulian and the Van Wyck Homestead Museum. We have family in Saratoga, so when they heard about the Battle of Saratoga, they started planning a trip to visit the battlegrounds the next time we are up there to visit.

All of this was started by a simple trip to the Boston area to visit friends. I know I keep saying it, but it CAN be this simple. When I learned about the Revolutionary War in school, I was so bored. It was all about memorizing names and dates. I barely remembered ANY of it!  I grew up in Stony Point - walking distance to the Stony Point Battleground, 10 minutes from West Point, 20 minutes from major areas involved in that war. I had no idea. So sad.

Think about HOW MUCH LEARNING is going on by taking this trip to Boston, by spending an HOUR on the Freedom Trail, by taking a trip to a local landmark. What's even better is that it is AUTHENTIC LEARNING. They are invested in it, eager to learn more, excited by it!

Even if you do not homeschool, you can still supplement your child's school education with trips like this. Are they learning about the American Revolution? Go to Boston! Are they learning about the Pilgrims? Go to Plymouth Rock or Colonial Williamsburg! Are they learning about presidents? Go to the FDR house in Hyde Park, NY. Are they learning about slavery and the civil war? Visit an old plantation! By actually experiencing these things first hand, it makes them much more concrete and alive in their minds.

I think I can safely say that my kids will not forget about the American Revolution.

Writing

One of the areas that we used to struggle with in our home was writing. My kids resisted it. My instant response was to implement writing activities on a fairly regular basis. For the younger one: practice writing letters, words, spelling and journal writing. For the older one: book reports, research reports, short stories. I can tell you this did NOT go over well. It was like pulling teeth! We had complaints and tears each time we tried.

So I was talking to a fellow homeschool friend and she asked me a simple question "WHY do you want them to write?" It was like a lightbulb going off! Clearly they NEED to be able to write, to be able to express themselves through writing, etc. But I want them to ENJOY writing. I clearly love to write and I want to instill that same love in them. So what's the fastest way to kill the love of something? FORCE IT! So I stopped. And I let it go for a few months.

Guess What? They didn't stop writing, they just stopped doing writing assignments. So I started paying attention to when and what they wrote. I was amazed at how much writing they do on a daily basis. They are constantly making signs and cards and drawings with words. They love to pen pal with friends and family. We started journals last year. They journal spontaneously ALL THE TIME. Especially after we go somewhere or learn something new. They once read a book that was written and published by third graders. WELL that spawned 3 weeks of writing activities! We have homemade books all over the place!

Sure I try to guide them in that direction on occasion. My oldest just finished reading a series and was sad there were no more books left to read. I suggested she write another book in the series. AND SHE DID! My younger child loves to cook and bake with me. I suggested she come up with some recipes she would like to try. So she looked up recipes and wrote them down.

I think it's VERY easy to get wrapped up in 'traditional, school-style' learning and to think it's the only way to do things. But we all LEFT the traditional school for a reason right? Sometimes it doesn't take racking your brain to come up with creative activities. Sometimes it just takes letting kids be kids.

Winter Blahs

So after the holiday season is over, I always get a case of the winter blahs. There are months of cold and yucky weather ahead, a lot of indoor time (which I hate), and I'm usually itching to go on a trip and am broke! So since I cannot afford to jump on a plane to Bermuda, or hop on a cruise ship to the Caribbean, I am going to list a bunch of local Hudson valley winter activities. Hopefully this will help both you and me beat the winter blahs!

Ice Skating at McCann Ice Arena. In the Mid Hudson Civic Center in the city of Poughkeepsie. They offer ice skating lessons for all levels and have open skate times. Check them out! http://www.midhudsonciviccenter.org/mccann-ice-arena.php#.Ur2vvW10kW4

Mid Hudson Children's Museum. Located near the river and the train station in Poughkeepsie. They have a ton of hands on exhibits and activities. They offer playgroupas for children 5 and under, camps and so much more! http://www.mhcm.org/web/play;jsessionid=6BFA4176EABF92A297A5CF19C37DFA3B

Not too far away is the Albany Children's Museum of Science and Technology. About an hour drive from the Hudson Valley. They offer more hands on exhibits and activities. And they have a planetarium!!!! If you buy an Explorer Membership at the Children's Museum - you can go to BOTH under this ONE membership! http://www.cmost.org/

Rollerskating at Hyde Park Rollermagic. Located on Route 9 in Hyde Park, NY. They offer open skate times, host birthday parties and are the home ofthe Horrors Roller Derby Team! http://www.hydeparkrollermagic.com/

The kids are antsy and need to move? Check out Jumpin Jakes. With locations in both Poughkeepsie and Fishkill, there is plenty to do! http://fishkill.jumpinjakes.net/

Can't get down to the Bronx anytime soon? Well then check out the Trevor Zoo! Located at the Millbrook School in Millbrook, it is open everyday and has great animals to observe all year long! Have a group? They offer group tours as well! http://www.millbrook.org/podium/default.aspx?t=132225

Into museums? There are a TON in our area! Too many to list here, but check out Dutchess County Tourism's page for more info!! http://dutchesstourism.com/listings/childrens-museums/

Is Bowling your thing? Well there are several options in the Hudson Valley. We personally like Holiday Bowl In Wappingers Falls. http://www.hoebowlfamilyfun.com/

Closer to the Kingston area? Check out Wood N Wheel Family Fun Center! They've got skating, arcade, laser tag, a rock wall and more! http://www.woodnwheel.com/

Into sports? Check out The Field! They offer clinics, birthday parties, and lots of other indoor sports activities! http://hvfield.com/

Check out our state parks. There is a ton to do all over the Hudson Valley area: ice skating, snow shoeing, cross country skiing...the list goes on & on!  http://nysparks.com/

There are always movies, the library has great programs, and Poughkeepsie Barnes & Noble has a free, drop in story time on Mondays and Wednesdays at 10am. Bowdoin Park just announced they are allowing sledding and are building an outdoor ice skating rink for FREE USE!!!!

So if you are feeling BLAH, head out to one of these many activities and chase your blues away. I'm going to try one right now!!