And the children were nessled all snug in their beds....

I have to say I'm a total sucker for this time of year....the lights, the hype, the gifts, the carols....YUP I love it all! And I get the commercialism of it & am not thrilled with that part - but the beauty of the season is how it tends to bring us all together.....

Yes I'm a total sucker for the Christmas season. I'll admit it. But I think this time of year, regardless of what you celebrate (Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, whathaveyou...) brings out the best in all of us. Yes you can choose to see how it brings out the worst in us....the crazy shoppers on Thanksgiving or Black Friday, the extra holiday traffic and angry drivers, the stressed out families trying to 'get everything done.'

But what I see is my family and my friends trying to get together with the ones that they love and celebrate each other. The impromptu parties, the caroling at a nursing home, collecting for the families who have so little, the cookie swaps, the piggy bank bazaars.....

So I hope for everyone all around the world, that we take the time to love our families and friends, to call that special person, to send 1 more Christmas (Hanukkah, Kwanzaa) card, to take a few minutes of your time to help someone else out...amidst the craziness of the season, is an overwhelming feeling of love and gratitude.

Be grateful for what you have and for the people in your life. Take time to reflect on all the good in your life. Hug your loved ones extra tight, tell that person how much they mean to you. Life is too short and things happen so fast. We blink and it's over. Slow down and enjoy every minute.....

To those of you in my life, I hope you know how much I love and appreciate each and every one of you. I wish that we all find peace and love this holiday season & in the coming new year. I am thankful for all of the good in my life (and there's a lot of it) and I pray for those suffering this holiday season. I am thankful for all of my readers and all of the insight and support you have given me this past year, It is invaluable.

Take a deep breath, slow down and enjoy your loved ones, cherish every moment....for it is only a moment. There are plenty of 'things' to be had.....but only a few special people and moments in this life. Cherish them and enjoy them. Forget the things. The best things in life are not things, but memories and cherished people who nourish your soul.

Happy Holidays & wishes for a peaceful new year!

What do you DO all day?!

So, inevitably, we have come across soooooo many questions about our homeschooling experience. The number one question has to be "What do you do with your day?" I have to say, most people have asked this with true curiosity, not the negativity that many who homeschool encounter. They genuinely want to know. They also want to know if I set up my home like a school - with math at 10, art at 11 etc. And another biggie is "How do you know what to teach?"

To answer the latter first, the simplest way is to go to the NY state website for core curriculum standards. It's spelled out, in excruciating detail, what each grade level should know, examples of how to teach it, and when to teach it (I have to say as a teacher I find this highly insulting but that's another matter). Many homeschool families turn to curriculums that they buy. There are many great resources out there. We aren't following a curriculum per se. However, I know what to teach because I know my kids. I know what they can and can't do, what they are interested in and I have a basic idea of what a kindergartener and second grader should know (granted, I do have 15 years teaching experience). But I don't really think that's why. Think about when you had a toddler or preschooler. Did you question your ability to teach your children? I would say in most cases, the answer is no. So why is it that parents feel so apprehensive when it comes to teaching their school age kids? (This is what I hear anyway). Is it because school has told you that you don't have the tools or resources to do this? Nonsense!

You absolutely are equipped to teach your school-age children and probably in a better way than anyone else. YOU know them BEST. Some kids thrive on structure, others fail to thrive in structure, some kids are super creative, others are very logical.....This leads into the next question "do I structure my day like school?" The answer for our family is NO. For us, the whole reason to homeschool is to NOT follow a typical school routine. We are letting it happen organically. For instance, we read the book Poor Pluto recently. After reading it, we discussed how 3rd graders in California are the authors and illustrators of that book. This instantly sparked a book writing extravaganza for 3 days! My 7 year old wrote and illustrated a book on her own. My 5 year old drew the pictures and needed help spelling the words. I did not dictate book structure, story structure, we did not discuss characters, plot, setting, problems, solutions.....all the usual lessons that go along with writing. And guess what? The story had a cover with a title & author. It was well sequenced, had a problem and a solution. It had a main character, setting and supporting characters. So you will say that we HAD to have had lessons about this beforehand. NOPE. So then how do they know to do this? Because they've been read to their entire lives. They've been shown titles, authors, illustrators. They know all books tend to have a problem and end with a solution. Encourage your kid to write a book and give no other direction than that. I bet they will do it too.

Finally, What do we DO all day?  Hmmmmmmmmmm let me see........Yes we have a lot more downtime and playtime than school kids. We are outdoors a lot, and with that comes learning (we have a new pet salamander from our last camping trip). We occasionally sit down and work on math or writing, but most of our learning is experiential. We go to the children's museum, go camping, hiking, go to the park, go to the Mohonk Mountain house, go apple picking, bake, cook, write our own books, we have cheerleading practice, girl scouts, art class, we meet twice a week with homeschool groups where a TON of things go on, we have playdates with friends, visit grandparents, we participate in school activities like the science fair, go to the Bronx zoo, we take care of our pets, and explore whatever strikes out fancy. And this is just the tip of the iceberg.

Homeschooling looks different for every family. This is the beauty of it! The individualization, the relaxed nature of learning, the ability to blow it off at will and then realize that in blowing it off, we learned a ton about something not planned!

So, what did YOU do all day?

Giving Thanks

With Thanksgiving upon us, we are reminded of the importance of 'giving thanks' for all of the blessings in our lives. So many of us have experienced tragedy, hard times, economic struggles, etc so it can feel difficult to give thanks at times. And then we try to teach our children to 'be thankful' but what does that mean? I think it is more a way of life rather than something we do in November, but giving thanks at any time is a good thing!

Some activities that I like to do with my kids, and what I have done in my classroom, is to teach them what is 'giving thanks.' A cute idea is to do a Thankful wreath. Cut a hole in the center of a paper plate & make leaves out of construction paper. The children can write or draw what they are thankful for and glue it to the Thankful Wreath. Some families engage in prayer. This is a great way to regularly engage in being thankful. Even if you do not subscribe to traditional prayer or religion, you can have discussions with your children about what they can be thankful for (a warm home, a loving family, food, pets, friends).
http://cupcakesandcrinoline.com/2012/11/make-a-15-minute-thankful-wreath-with-the-kids/

Focusing on the positive and giving thanks on a regular basis helps us to focus on what is really important and distract us from the everyday, 'small stuff' that they speak of. Sometimes that 'small stuff' doesn't seem so small, until we are faced with a real tragedy. Hopefully you will not be faced with such a tragedy. But I find that even trying to be thankful during my most stressful times helps me to focus on what is really important in life.

So with Thanksgiving upon us, I hope we will all stop to reflect upon what is good in our lives and what we have to be thankful for. If possible, spread this throughout the year. I promise this will enrich your lives. Happy Thanksgiving! I am thankful for my family, my warm home, food on my table, the ability to work, the ability to connect with others, and for all my supportive readers and friends!

For more ideas, please check out my friend's page. This has been such an inspiration to me and many others.
http://www.facebook.com/groups/147831291757/

Homeschooling FAIL!!!

So as you may or may not know, we joined 2 groups, or co-ops, when we decided to homeschool. The first is run almost like a school & the moms share teaching different academic areas. It's very cool. So as part of that, I was given Native Americans to teach the littles (ages 4-7).

Now 2 other moms have gone before me with topics such as Iceland & Mexico. They had powerpoint presentations, had the kids make books comparing Norway to Iceland, awesome authentic foods to try....As an early childhood teacher, I figure I had this in the bag right?!  NOT!

I don't know what happened, if I choked or what, but I felt like my lesson was an EPIC FAIL. I knew less than the other moms (and some of the kids) & I was the teacher that day! The 'lessons' I had planned either tanked or the kids flew through them. This was a lesson in humility for sure!

In my defense, Native Americans is an extremely broad topic with insane amounts of information. It is also a topic most Americans are pretty knowledgeable about, unlike Iceland or Mexico. However, I think the main problem is that I approached this EXACTLY like an early childhood teacher. I framed my lessons in the way a classroom teacher would have. However, these are homeschooled kids and this is not a classroom!

There were glimmers of hope. The kids enjoyed carving pumpkins & drawing pictures using petroglyphs - but did I use the word 'Petroglyphs'??? NO! Would you use that word in a typical kindergarten classroom? Probably not. But herein lies the problem...this is NOT a typical kindergarten classroom!

So I hang my head in shame & beat myself up over a crappy lesson. All in all, it was fine, the kids seemed interested & had some fun. I walk away a bit embarrassed & with a bruised ego. But with that comes a lesson for me. 15 years of teaching experience in early childhood doesn't make me an expert. Actually I don't even feel qualified at the moment. Clearly I have a lot to learn & room to grow. Years ago a failure such as this would've crushed me. Now I kinda laugh (KINDA) at myself & say 'Better Luck Next Time.'

And there will be a next time. Next week to be exact, when I conclude the lesson on Native Americans. I have a lot of creative ideas & cool activities floating around in my head. Hopefully they will be as cool & informative as I imagine them to be. If not, so be it. I'll live to tell another tale.....

I guess the moral of the story is, no matter how much experience you have, or how well educated you are, there will come a time that you fail. How will that moment define you? Will it be destructive or constructive? Will it cause utter devastation or will it cause the creative juices to flow? Will it be the end for you or just the beginning? For me, it's just the beginning.............................of a whole new chapter! GAME ON!

Being Thankful...

In the wake of Hurricane Sandy and living in an area affected by the storm, I am reminded of how fragile life is. Looking at pictures of my hometown, the towns of my friends and family, and seeing the devastation is unreal. I am blessed to say that everyone I know and love is safe. Property is replaceable, people are not.

However, out of the rubble rises the human spirit. I am in awe of the strength of people and how we all come together in times of need. I have watched many friends go straight to the devastation to help others, neighbors taking in neighbors, local businesses organizing donations to take to those who lost everything...

I am particularly in awe of how social media played (and continues to play) a huge part in the organization of people, donations and information. In a few short hours, groups were formed, trucks were being loaded, people were headed to where they were needed. Everyone is looking for a way to help the unfortunate, the displaced. Social media helped stop the NYC Marathon! We live in a time, that with all the flaws of social media, it can be such a powerful tool for greatness. 

I love this sense of community, working together, taking care of each other and wish it would last. I know it won't and eventually we will all get back to our normal lives and start focusing on other things. I guess a time of crisis makes us focus on the basics, on what is really important. My wish is that we all keep that in mind when the smaller, less significant things in life become overbearing. So go hug your kids, call that old friend, make a donation. The mess can wait. The laundry can wait. The bills can wait. In a blink, it could be gone. Cherish the time you have and the people you love.

For those who have lost their homes, belongings, pets and loved ones. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Rest assured your neighbors to the north are working hard to get the things you need down to you. Stay strong. I hope this finds you warm, fed and safe. Much love.

Unschooling?

As I creep further and further into the world of homeschooling, I am discovering that there are many layers to this paradigm, one of which is Unschooling. I am sure to the average person, Unschooling seems ridiculous and lazy. As if parents who follow this philosophy and just letting their kids sit around and watch TV or play Wii all day. How could a child possibly learn without some structure or lesson given to them?

I am starting to discover that we are mostly Unschoolers. As I meet and get to know other homeschool families, there are many discussions about what curriculum they are using or textbooks or methods. I am asked frequently what I am using. Ummm.....NOTHING. Shocking I know. And many who know me will say 'but you are an early childhood teacher so you don't need a curriculum that you buy off the internet.' Sure that is true. But I think my background offers me the confidence that I can do this without a curriculum more than it is helping me to not use one. (If that makes any sense) We actually rarely sit around the table and do 'work.' Once a week maybe. But are my kids NOT learning what they need to know?

Well I pose the question, "How do you STOP a child from learning?" Children are natural sponges. They are so curious about the world around them. They are always investigating, observing, watching, calculating....they are mini-scientists! If given the opportunity, children will learn astonishing things....all WITHOUT an adult 'teaching' them!

Without going into a long history lesson, the phenomena of public school is a relatively new idea. Public schools didn't exist before the mid 1800's. Before that, there were a variety of ways children learned; private schools, homeschools, church schools etc.  Many of the leaders who helped form this nation were probably NOT a participant in a formal school. Would you call them illiterate, uneducated or unrefined? These people became adults who challenged governments, stopped atrocities such as slavery, and created some of the greatest thinkers of all time. A short list of famous homeschoolers include Ben Franklin, FDR, Thomas Jefferson, Winston Churchill, George Patton, Stonewall Jackson, Sandra Day O'Connor, Albert Einstein, Booker T. Washington, Claude Monet, The Wright Brothers, Thomas Edison, Samuel Clemens, Beatrix Potter......I could go on and on.

So back to unschooling then. HOW do kids learn without lessons, structure, textbooks? They learn because that is what we are designed to do. Think about what a baby learns in the first year of life......they learn to roll, crawl and then walk. They learn to say words and the names of people and things. They understand a whole lot more and can follow simple directives (go get the ball). They learn boundaries, things that are safe and unsafe, who is familiar and who is not. They learn about gravity and the permanence of things. They start to make choices and have preferences for things (toys, food). They know how objects work in the world and start to play with toys. It's amazing and it's all done without school.

I know I revert to the learning of babies and toddlers A LOT, but it really emphasizes the natural way we are meant to learn. I love this quote from Sandra Dodd, on her website, about Unschooling:

"There is a Sesame Street book called Grover and the Everything in the Whole Wide World Museum. There is a "things under the sea" room and "things in the sky" room, but still each room is just a room in a museum, no windows, everything out of context. Then he opens a big door marked "everything else in the whole wide world" and goes out into the sunshine. There is unschooling."

 http://sandradodd.com/unschooling

 Formal school teaches a lot that is out of context. Maybe this is why so many children are having a hard time? It doesn't make sense to them. It doesn't interest them. It has no relevance to their lives. So many times they are taught to memorize things but not given WHY they should. Why is it important to know algebra, the state capitals or the periodic table? 

Unschooling allows for EVERYTHING to be in context. It is completely child driven. Yes I supply the materials, the trips, the experiences that allow for such exploration. But NO we are NOT sitting down to a lesson (in the traditional sense anyway).  Already in the 6 weeks we've 'officially' been homeschooling (or unschooling) my kids have written & illustrated their own books, learned about the Solar System & created dioramas, my 7 year old read & is doing a book report on the first Harry Potter book, My 5 year old was just talking today about ordinal numbers (first, second, third)...I have NOT initiated, organized, or even suggested ANY of this. It has all come about by their own creativity, interest, and/or experiences.

Not everyone can homeschool or unschool. I get that. But everyone can offer context to their child. Show them WHY things are relevant. Explain how these things work in the real world. Offer them the bigger picture. I am willing to bet this will help a struggling student.

But for those of us who have ventured into the homeschooling realm, give unschooling a try. I promise, your child will learn much more with just your guidance and assistance, rather than formal lessons. And they will learn it with excitement, enthusiasm and joy. Isn't this why we left the public system in the first place?

For the love of our children

It is amazing how much I love my children. People describe it, your parents tell you about it (hopefully), but you have NO IDEA until you actually have children of your own. They are literally a piece of your heart walking around in the outside world. They are that vulnerable, that fragile, that able to be damaged, lost or broken. But they are also a beacon of light, a reminder of all that is good in the world, all that is good within yourself. How can this tiny package be so much, yet so small?

When you have a newborn, the love and protectiveness is fierce. Literally fierce. You are their everything. It is so awesome but so difficult. The lack of sleep, loss of time for yourself, the simple task of taking a shower becomes a 3 day project. But when that baby looks up into your eyes, there is just nothing like it in the entire world.

Then Terrible 2's hit, and what I like to call the Defiant 3's and you are going crazy. I remember wishing I was deaf. Please poke my eardrums out!!! (Ok a bit dramatic) But it is stressful as these walking, talking toddlers/preschoolers are flexing their independence muscles but can't really do much at the same time. They tantrum over EVERYTHING! Literally I can't count how many times my kids tantrumed over going somewhere great like the park or the zoo. Not like I was taking them to toddler boot camp for pete's sake! And the embarrassment in public is astonishing. As if a tantruming 2 1/2 year old is something new or something everyone with kids hasn't experienced! (If you are one who hasn't, please call me, I have a job for you).

Now I am in the sweet spot - the 4-9 year old range. They are old enough to be quite independent, but young enough to still be a cuddle bug. We can do a ton of cool things: play mini golf, go out to a restaurant, go to the movies, ice skating......I can breathe at the playground. I don't have to be on top of them every minute. I can literally say "Go play" and they're gone for hours and are fine. However, with that comes a glimpse into the future. This is when they start to break away. They need us less and less, they want our help less and less. They start to care more about their friends and what THEY think. It hasn't started completely yet but make no mistake, it is starting.

I feel like I've blinked and the last 8 years have gone by. Which begs the question - how fast will the next 8 go? I have tantrums of a different kind to look forward to, first crushes, broken hearts, first dates, best friend rivalries, first dances, first kisses, doors being slammed in my face, sister fights over clothes, loud, obnoxious music, concerts, hormones (as a friend puts it - pre-teen wolf), DRIVING!!!!! Honestly, it scares the crap out of me. I'm going to wake up one day very soon and they'll be going off to college.

So I sit here as they sleep upstairs and realize I have a precious few minutes to treasure with them. Amidst some tears, waining tantrums, and some eye rolling, I consistently get ginormous hugs, tickles, laughter, fun. They still prefer me as their playmate and although some days it seems like a hassle, one day they'll stop asking. So yes I will play baby pet salon for the 10,000th time.

Being a parent is probably the hardest thing I have ever done and will ever do. It is literally ripping your heart out and letting it walk outside amongst the wolves. But no matter how difficult, scary, and frustrating it can be, it is the greatest reward and love I will ever know.